The Fat Chronicles: Why Fatties Don't Run

There's a reason you know.

A reason why fatties do NOT, I repeat DO NOT run.

Actually there are a number of reasons.

 

 

1. Things move on you that don't move on other people

2. These moving things are often uncomfortable

3. Your feet and legs were not really made to have the force of a skyscraper banging down on them

4. A 25 minute mile is nothing to be proud of

5. What will people think

 

In case you haven't noticed, these are pretty much bullshit reasons.

 

Last year, at my heaviest, I did a 5k. It was AWESOME. I didn't run the whole thing, in fact I barely jogged through most of it. I wasn't last though, I felt great when I was finished because AT LEAST I FINISHED. I felt accomplished, I felt proud to bring home that race bib.

This year I have a 5-5k goal. I have since signed up for 3. This year I am about 60 pounds lighter for my first race than I was last year. Will I be able to jog the whole thing this time? Maybe.

But maybe not.

But that doesn't matter. The fact that I am doing it is what matters.

 

There is a LOT to be said for showing up. People throw off on participation, in the words of Reece Bobby "If you ain't first, you're last"
But that isn't the case at all!

When you do these things, as an overweight person, you don't have to do them to be first or to beat anyone but yourself. Do it for YOU. FINISH. Because the person that you run for is YOU. Eff what anyone else things. Who cares what they think? You may not do it as fast but YOU ARE DOING IT, the same as they are.

It is something to be proud of. You showed up. You made the effort. You are taking control of your life. You are doing more than anyone on the couch. You have decided to make a change.

The reasons that fatties don't run are reasons that have nothing to do with us and everything to do with other people. There are good sites online for fat runners to find things that will make it more comfortable for you. Other than that, tell everyone to fuck off.

You wanna run? RUN. You may be slow, you may have a 30 minute mile starting out but who cares. You will get better. So run, fatty, run. Imagine that there is a slice of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake at the end of the line, or a Big Mac or you know whatever motivates you.

Why don't fatties run? Because we let other people determine our value when it comes to exercise. I say YOU determine your value and YOU choose what you want to do. Maybe I'll see you at one of my 5k's. Maybe you will pass me. But we will both finish, and it will be awesome.

The Fat Chronicles: Sometimes You're Off the Wagon

 

Don't be fooled friends. You will not always be on the wagon. It's true. There will be times when you fall off. There may be days or even weeks when you are simply running beside the wagon, or walking behind the wagon.

 

But sometime, you will get off the wagon. Life will be particularly stressful, funds will be low, your mood will be bad, you will be on vacation or whatever number of things that can knock your ass off your wagon seat.

 

You won't forget about the wagon. You won't rip up your ticket, but you will get off for a while. You will eat things more often than you know you should, at times and in quantities that you know are insane. You won't weigh because you know what the scale will say.

 

The point of me saying this is to remind you of a few things:

1. You didn't gain the weight in a day, you won't lose it in one

 

2. Just like it will take more than one day or week to undo the damage from you not caring about what you eat, it will take more than one day or week to undo all the hardwork. Don't let it get you down if you are off the wagon for a day or a week or even two weeks. THOSE TIMES WILL HAPPEN. But you cannot let them begin to define you as your eating habits did before. Just roll with it.

 

3. Having these off the wagon times DO NOT make you a failure, or make you weak, or make you any other horrid thing that you can think that you are. It makes you HUMAN. It makes you someone that has good times and has bad times and has to deal with them. It makes you a work in progress. It makes you someone who has to relearn how to deal with stress and heartache and anger and fear and the other emotions that can drive you off the wagon.

 

4. The wagons follow a circle. Don't drive yourself crazy with slips. The wagons go in a circle, it will be back around. If it isn't coming soon enough, go after the em-effer.

 

5. Don't EVER GIVE UP. I have preached and preached that I DO NOT advocate for 'diets'. Again your diet is what you DO eat, not what you do NOT eat. Obtaining a healthier lifestyle isn't like obtaining a new coffeemaker. You don't just go to the store and get it. A healthier lifestyle is something that you have to work for a learn and practice and sometimes you will be uber successful about it and sometimes you won't.

 

6. You are still a FUCKING ROCKSTAR! You are still moving forward. You can still do this. At least if you are off the wagon you can move along side it and then jump back on. KEEP MOVING. That is exercise.

 

Sometimes you will be off the wagon. But that doesn't mean that you need to set the wagon on fire and rob the other people on it then execute them and leave them for dead in the middle of the desert. Just get back on.