You're My Best Friend and I love you, but...you're fat

It's a strange thing, the way that your outlook on food changes when you decide to get healthier. You get this new energy and lust for life and you feel AMAZING and you want to share that with everyone! You start to notice all the people around you who are slowly killing themselves and who are robbing themselves of potentially YEARS of life and of joy.

Now look, here is the deal. I'm still fat. I have a LONG way to go before I am what would be considered a healthy weight. No fat person wants someone to tell them that they are fat. WE KNOW. It's not a secret to us or anyone else. Being healthy is a choice that everyone has to make on their own.

But herein lies the problem. What happens when someone you care about is really going down an unhealthy road? What do you do when you see someone that you love slowly killing themselves? Can you tell them? Should you tell them?

My issue is this. I have a friend, a best friend. Who has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. She has been there for me through thick and thin and I have her. No, we don't talk everyday, but that doesn't mean that I don't still love her. She has a young child now and I guess that is part of what has made me feel this way about her. Her mother died young, though not necessarily because of her own struggles with weight it was a contributing factor.

Now that I have started to improve my eating habits and I feel so much better I look at this girl that I love and I think to myself about all the things that she could miss out on with her son. She already has some weight related health issues and with the eating habits that I know she has it can only get worse. I think about how she won't be able to run with him at the park, she may not be able to fit into rides with him at theme parks, she could die young too, she could lose a lot of things she has now because of her health issues that she already has. This concerns me.

Is it my business? Not really, no. But I love her and I am concerned for her. So what do you do? What do you say? How do you tell someone that you are concerned about their eating habits? How do you tell them that with your newfound knowledge about how healthy eating can change your life that you are worried about her?

I don't think there is a way to do this that doesn't involve someone's feelings getting hurt. That is a sad thing really.

We have made weight such a hot button topic that it's wrong to talk about it and it's wrong not to. You don't want to say anything because you don't want to step on toes, you don't want to sound condescending, you don't want to make anyone mad. But weight isn't just about wearing a certain kind of clothes or working out. Your weight effects your LIFE. It can take time and joy away from you.

In a way I feel like I have no right to say anything to anyone about their weight. Mine is still MUCH higher than it should be. BUT, I am getting healthier. I don't care about being SKINNY, I care about being healthy and I care about being able to live my life to the fullest of my ability. I care about being able to ride rollercoasters with the kids (because, honestly, I have had to pass before for fear of not fitting in the car and not wanting to be embarrassed), I care about being able to run and play with them outside, I care about people taking me seriously in my career, I care about feeling good about who I am. I care about what I see in the mirror MATCHING what I see in my mind. I care about feeling good and feeling healthy and feeling strong. I care about being healthy and not filling my body with CRAP!

Your weight is not my business. It really isn't. It really isn't anyone's business but your own. But it's not wrong to tell someone that you care about their health. The worst that can happen is that tell you to fuck off and they are pissed at you for a while. The best is that they agree and now you have a workout buddy. You never know what words could change someone's life.