Stick Fitness vs. Fat Fitness

I have, for reasons completely unknown to me, found myself joining a number of 'healthy lifestyle/fitness' groups on Facebook or through Pinterest and a number of other outlets. What starts out as excitement that you will get some healthy lifestyle tips soon turns into a beginning to a long list of people that you want to maim.

 

Why?

 

Because the women (and I assume men too) that run these blogs ARE IN SHAPE!

 

Now, look I know what you are thinking, why would I take fitness advice from a fatty? I get it. if I hired a nutritionist and went in and they weighted 300lb, I would probably turn and walk right out. But if you are trying to get a better lifestyle, you are having to deal with a lot of things that someone who is there, well doesn't.

 

So look, girl running the fitness blog. If I ever see you, I'm going to punch you in the face. Your blogs about making every trip a chance to exercise really doesn't apply to me. Your posts about getting back to your marathon weight just makes me want to eat a donut. Unless you can somehow make my trips to the bathroom exercise, you are not helping. You want to talk about getting back to running marathons and I just want to be able to walk from my car to my office without LOOKING like I just ran a marathon. You want me to do bench dips at the park with my kids. Look unless a bench dip is a new kind of sandwich or ice cream at 31 Flavors, I don't know what you are talking about and I am not interested and I can't do it.

 

If your highest weight was 145 and that was when you were 9 months pregnant, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE FAT. Please stop acting like it was such a struggle for you to get healthy. My days consist of trying to find non-elastic waist pants that fit, people who won't sneer at me when I go through the drive through or who won't treat me like I am less than a human because I'm fat. At my highest weight I weighed as much as all the children in a small undeveloped African village, I was harassed at Sea World for leaving my exhibit, I was mistaken for Uranus at the planetarium, I was used as a stunt man fall pillow. I wasn't still able to shop at American Eagle, in fact the only thing that I can own from there is perfume and a purse. I wasn't able to go to the beach in a bikini because I didn't want to have a Raspushia moment from Norbit when they ask me if I had on bottoms, I didn't want NOAA called out because there was a whale that was beached. I didn't take a thousand selfies a day. DO NOT, talk to me about being fat!

 

Now, look, I understand that you can not be obese and still be unhealthy. I get that. But I don't want to see you posting pics of your abs to try to motivate me to exercise more. Your ab pics make me think about how if I punched you in your stomach I wouldn't have to hit as hard because you don't have fat there.

 

I will not be running marathons in the near future. Hell, I'm not sure that I will be able to walk to my basement to do laundry without getting out of breath. If I am looking for healthy lifestyle advice I'm sorry but I don't really want to hear it from someone who has NO IDEA what it's like to be like me.

 

I want to read about someone like me. Someone who fights a battle every day to find clothes that fit, seats that fit, anything that will accommodate your body.

 

So I guess that is part of my purpose. I guess that I know that people like me who have to start small by maybe NOT eating McD 5 times a week, who can do a 25 minute mile IF they push themselves, want to hear from people just like them not a person who has never had to deal with the stigma of being obese. I need BABY steps. I need less than baby steps, I need hand holding to help me not, you know, DIE. my biggest worry isn't toning up for beach weather or being able to do that big race that in coming up.

 

My goal is to actually live till middle age. My goal is to be able to play with the kids in the park. My goal is NOT to end up as a TLC special or having to get cut out of my house. My goal is to be able to go into a store and buy clothes without worrying if they have my size. My goal is to stop feeling like shit.

 

I don't need stick fitness. You are done. You cannot help me. I need fat fitness. I need to hear the words of my people to help me make the changes that I need to make in an environment NOT filled with 7% body fat ab photos. I want an environment where we talk about how we did great to not eat that second cookie, or we didn't eat the whole pizza, the brownie batter made it to the oven. I want a place to talk to people who are trying to lose a person with their weight. I want a place where I'm on the same journey as the other people, not where I am, once again, a spectator on the fitness road.

 

So, I think to myself, what is the best way to find this? Well, do it I suppose. So here I go, along with my ever entertaining and informative musings on life, I will start to share my healthy lifestyle journey. So hold on for the ride ladies and gents. Fattys get on your girdles, sticks get thrown....prepare yourself with lowfat snacks of all kinds for....The Fat Chronicles! (dum, dum, dum!!!)