So the way I see it all of the people that you meet in life pretty much fall into two categories.
Stumbling blocks,
or stepping stones.
The stepping stones are easy to pick out. They are the people that encourage you, that build you up. That tell you that no matter what comes along you can follow your dreams and you can make it! They are the people that are positive, the people that are light in your life. The ones that you turn to when things aren't going like you would like them to go. They fuel your fire, they salt your fries, they hate the people you hate.
The stepping stones are pretty rare. If you find one make sure that you try your best to keep them in your life. They are a source of strength. They will keep you sane.
But then there are the stumbling blocks. Believe it or not, these can be harder to identify. Mostly because sometimes it can be hard to actually label someone a stumbling block. It's hard because most of the time I don't think that we want to admit that someone is a stumbling block in our lives. Oh, we may easily admit that they don't always support us or encourage us. But we just see that as disinterest or any think other than a stumbling block. We would rather act like they are moot in our lives than that they are stubbing us up.
These are people that you usually care about and to think that they are a hindrance to you is painful. It's painful because you care about them, because you thought that they cared about you. Because you have to come to terms with the fact that you have put your faith and your time and effort and love into someone or something that will not give it back, You misjudged them and that is hard. In fact it sucks.
Identifying a stumbling block is hard because sometimes I don't think you even realize that you are being made to stumble.
You think that you are the problem. That you can't do it. That you aren't trying hard enough, you don't want it bad enough. Now, look here, I'm not one of these people that say that everything that happens to us is someone else's fault. I don't think that bad things that we do are all because someone else did something that made us do it. On the contrary failure is most always our fault.
Now before you take offense to this think about it.
We fail because we give up. No one makes you give up. We may say that so and so made us want to quit because they did this thing or that thing but the decision to quit was YOURS. No one MADE you. Furthermore YOU allow those people to remain in your life.
Now, I know what you are thinking. But he's my husband, she's my wife, that's my mom/dad/sister/brother/best friend. Let me break this down for you...
LIFE IS SHORT.
No one has the time or should expend the energy that it takes to try and compensate for an asshole , ur, stumbling block in your life.
All the time and energy that you spend trying to make excuses for them or trying to build yourself back up when they tear you down is NOT worth it. Why do we choose to surround ourselves with people who don't build us up and encourage us to be all that we can be? There is no reason and no excuse for it. Yes, that may be your husband or wife or sister or brother but look here, if they aren't willing to be a stepping stone for you, then they are a stumbling block, and you need to rid yourself of them.
It will not be easy. In fact I'd say that it would be very hard. It means moving on. It means saying goodbye to someone that you love. It means that there will be whispers and rumors. But it also means that you will be putting yourself in a healthy environment where you can move forward and grow and be all that you can be.
If we fail, as we sometimes may, fail knowing that you did everything that you could to succeed. If you quit, if you allow toxic people in your life, if you don't give it 110% then you only have yourself to blame.
I have allowed a lot of stumbling blocks in my life. I have allowed people who I called friends to discourage me, I allowed a man to have my heart and all he did was tear me down. He was more than a stumbling block he was a roadblock. He kept me from reaching my potential in my health, in my education, in my faith and in my LIFE. Now, I am staring to realize that I have other stumbling blocks too.
I have one that discourages me from staying positive about my lifestyle change (in hopes of attaining weight-loss); one that refuses to move forward and stifles my hopes for a successful life. The day may come when I say to myself "this is enough, I have to get rid of this stumbling block", and if/when that day comes it will be hard to deal with. But this life that I am living isn't about the stumbling blocks. It's about the stepping stones.
This year, as I've said before is my comeback year! This is the year that I will refuse, REFUSE to allow stumbling blocks to mar my path. This is the year that I will restore myself to my former glory. This is the year that I will find what/where I am meant to be. THIS will be my comeback.
On your comeback road you will find stumbling blocks. When that happens you have two choices. You can try to go around them and ignore them, only to find that they will pop up somewhere on down the line; or, you can chose to remove them. That may not be easy, and it may not be fun, but it may be necessary. This year is the year to cut away all the things in your life that hold you back and that hinder you from being all that you can be. This is the year to stop filling your life with things and people that trip you up. This is your comeback year too and you CAN remove all the stumbling blocks and replace them with stepping stones.
Today, take a moment to inventory your relationships and your habits and try to identify if they are stumbling blocks or stepping stones. If you don't know which, the answer is stumbling block. If someone is neither hot or cold, you need to spit them out. There is no time for people on the fence.
Stumbling block.
Stepping stone.
You decide.
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