Weight 310.6
I've been around 310 and such for weeks now. I'm in a funk. It sucks. The spirit is willing, but the body and mind aren't working together. Suffering from depression is really something that will make your whole life cloudy. You literally don't want to do ANYTHING. I want to get back out there, but you get so depressed and so down that you just are devastated about what you see in the mirror and you think you can never change and you can never get any better. You will never be what you see in your head and feel in your heart.
You feel hopeless, helpless. I'm looking for a job, I'm trying to deal with school and a spouse that is miserable and wants to leave his job, I'm trying to eat better, to do this exercise thing, to train for this 5k and all the while all I think about is how I'm worthless and lazy and unhappy...
I've been trying to read my Bible more and pray to get some help, some answers. It's about all I can do at this point.
But tomorrow is another day to try and climb out. And trying that is just what I shall do.
No comments:
Post a Comment